Day 5: Just don't even know

Where do I start with all of this? You know, it's ridiculous to be trying to keep doing this. I feel like I'm trying to keep it together. I'm not about to complain, or whine. Or some stupid shit. Nothing feels the same anymore. I don't know what to do. I've said what I needed to say already. Ugh, this is retarded. I feel stupid just talking to myself on here. I'm scared to just let it be and go on with school. Because if I do, I'll feel like we won't talk to each other anymore. Yeah we'll be busy, but still. How can you be on that "whatever happens, happens" type hype? It's just disappointing to me. It's like no one cares anymore. Retarded. Whatever, I can't be stressing over this a week before school starts. I'll try to let it go. But if I bring it up I'll probably automatically get responses like, " well you should of said something". Oh well, I don't want to feel or say shit like that. But whatever happens, happens right? I'm going to bed, or at least try. Peace doodle noodles.

Day 4: Jitters

There's about 2 weeks of summer vacation left until school starts. Not school, but COLLEGE. I've been hella excited for it to start, but now I'm gettin last minute jitters. I don't know. I'm having mixed feelings haha. I want to go but at the same time I'm freakin out inside of my mind. It's now hitting me that i just graduated. It's hella crazy. I see things in stores or anything around me and it just reminds me of something that happened in highschool. Like a box of chicken in a biskit.. haha I laugh EVERYTIME I see it. It just holds so much memories. And there's basketball, pencils, fruit snacks, ZIP TIES, haha and hella other more. I'm growin up and I just can't believe how time flies. I remember sitting in a computer class in elementary school practicing my computer skills. And now I'm about to take the first baby steps into my career. I don't know. Just thought I'd share this brief moment since I haven't wrote in here for a while. Oh, I finally got my car! YEE! It's quite lovely.. Haha. The engine is so bad. Bad in a good way. I love the sound of it. Look it up. It's hella sexy. Bj recently got his license and car. We're both licensed and have cars... Yay! The thing I don't get though is that, Bj gets to go anywhere he wants now since he has a car. And for me? I only get to go to places like school and home. It's hella ridiculous. Just because he's... Blaaaah. Whatever. It's okay, I love him.. It's okay. But I'm going to enjoy my box of chicken in a biskit (: and watch some discovery channel.. It's shark week!! Haha alright goodnight, peace ouuuut.